Counting Blessings

So I love Saturdays! Brian is home to help with Claire and it is just so relaxed. We went to Costco and got our memberships (Sawtooth has a corporate account so we don't have to pay the membership fee). Cheese is a lot cheaper there! We got a few things like string cheese, yoshida sause, and bottled water. Water is pretty good up here but we like to buy bottled for storage. We went on a walk when we got home. Claire fell asleep so it was peaceful.

Yesterday I was on my hypnobaby yahoo group and there was a post by a lady who lost her baby at 34 weeks. They had no idea why the baby died. The moderator replied with a blog that she reads about a woman who also lost a baby. They knew that she wouldn't survive but instead of terminating the pregnancy she waited until the baby came. The little girl lived a couple of hours and then passed away. This woman is a born again Christian and is very passionate about her belief in Jesus. Her brother and sister-in-law's son just died from SIDS too. Almost 2 months old. (and I was already paranoid) She had a video of her sister-in-law singing at her daughters funeral holding the little boy. It was so sad because they had no way of knowing their son would live just a few weeks more. From her blog I read another about a woman who had a daughter die almost full term and also a few about women who are adopting because they have tried and tried to get pregnant. All of these women are Christians who are truly inspiring with their faith.

I cried through many of their stories and I am counting every blessing I have. I remember how sad I was when my mom lost two babies. I remember crying so much that night when my dad told me that one was a girl. I named them David and Julie, which over the years never changed. I remember being so sad when my beautiful little cousin, who I have never met, Kate Eliza, died just a few days after being born. Everytime I hear that someone has a miscarriage I hurt for them, even though I haven't experienced it. What a blessing it is to know that families are eternal. I have no idea what will happen in my life. I do know, that no matter what, Heavenly Father loves me, loves my family, and cares for me and knows what He is doing. I may not but He does. I WILL be with my family FOREVER and I am so thankful for that. I will see my little brother and sister again and I am excited :) There are so many things I want to say but I am so bad getting them to come out.

Another thing from reading those blogs is that I feel a little ashamed by the passion that these women have for Heavenly Father and Jesus. It is completely apparent that they trust him totally. I know I need to be better and I am trying. Even though they are not of my faith they are uplifting. There are so many good people out there in the world who are trying to live they way they should and do the things they should.

Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts. Claire is in bed although I think I hear her so hopefully she will fall asleep. Last night was a great night. She was in bed by 10 up at 4 and then at 7. She is getting better. She does this thing though when she is nursing that she will nurse a second and then SCREAM. I will get her calmed down and she will do the same thing again. It mostly happens eveningish. Anyone know why?? I'm going to get a doctors appointment for her and see if they know. I posted a video. I hope it works. Claire is so cute when I change her diaper. She starts trying to talk :) It's kinda long so you don't have to watch it all. I love her though. She is a awesome blessing for us...even when she is fussy....

Love you all!!